Movies I’d Rather See: Ghostbusters 4

After a long day on the golf course, Bill Murray returns home and stares sadly at his answering machine. He knows what’s in there: movie pitches he doesn’t want to hear, offers for cameos he won’t take. Instead he goes into his kitchen and gets a beer from the fridge then goes into his living room and turns on the television. As he’s gliding through the thousand channels available to him his phone rings. He considers it, then turns his attention back to the television. Eventually the call goes to voicemail. Dan Aykroyd’s voice issues from the tinny speaker.

“Billy? It’s me, Dan. I have some disturbing news: I’ve seen it. Call me back.”

Murray looks at the phone and then back to his TV. He gets up and goes to the phone and dials Dan Aykroyd’s number. There is no answer. He leaves a polite message and then goes into the kitchen to make a snack for himself. Halfway into assembling something there is a knock at the door. Murray finishes making his sandwich and goes with it to the door. Outside on his doorstep is Aykroyd, sweating and shaking. He invites himself in and begins to make a sandwich out of the scraps Murray has left behind.

“I just got your message,” Murray says.

“I’ve seen it, Billy,” Aykroyd intones over a mouthful of bologna.

“I heard. Which ‘it’ are we talking about again? Just to refresh my memory.”

“Ghostbusters 3.”

“Oh, Danny. You know — I can’t do this again.”

“No you don’t understand, I’ve seen the movie! It’s happened.”

Murray considers his sandwich and then his beer and decides to have another. He gets Aykroyd one too.

“I don’t follow.”

“Well, a year ago Sony killed it — right? We saw it die. But! But! I saw it, just now. It’s still out there, somehow. I — I mean you know I believe in life after death. I believe this is the movie come back to us — Billy do you know what this means? This is proof! Proof of life after death.”

“Oh wow. So you know we never really talked about Harry’s death. Do you need to talk about it?”

“This has nothing to do with that — although I’m sure the knowledge of life after death would have been greatly comforting to him at the end. Anyway, we have to get the band back together.”

Murray gestures to the house around him, “I’m kind of in the middle of something here.”

“Billy! Billy! This is our second chance.”

“You know Danny, I don’t mean to piss on your parade but I’ve gotten a pretty good second chance. I’m in movies that people love. I’m a cultural institution.”

Dan Aykroyd considers this while he finishes his sandwich and beer. “True, that’s true. You’re right Billy I’m sorry. I just got so caught up. You know I’ve been trying to get this movie off the ground for the last twenty years. It’s just — I just thought that maybe if we did it, things would be like they were. We could be friends again, have some laughs, you know?”

“Yeah Danny, I know. I get it. I miss you guys too. But we don’t need Ghostbusters as an excuse. We can just hang out. Or if you want to make a movie, it doesn’t need to be Ghostbusters. It could be anything.”

“Like Blues Brothers 3000.”

“Anything else.”

“Caddyshack 3.”

“My point being — why don’t we just hang out? I know a place down the street. We can get a beer and poutine. How’s that?”

“Yeah — yeah I like that idea Billy, that’s great. And maybe while we’re there we can pour one out for Harry.”

“Sure, that’s a wonderful idea. Do you think we should call Ernie?”



Aykroyd stands in the foyer and shrugs.

“Winston Zeddmore?”

“Oh, right. I guess he can come along too.”

Murray stands over the phone, thinking. “You know I don’t think I have his number — do you?”

“I don’t think so. Are you sure he’s –” He gestures with both hands around his throat.



“Oh Jesus Billy no he’s not dead. He’s very much alive. Why would you think that?”

“I’m sorry Billy, you’re right, you’re right. What’s say we go to that bar and pour two out instead?”

“You’ve missed the point entirely, but sure let’s do that.”

The two men leave the house and go down to the bar to have a drink and reminisce about old times. Ghostbusters is never mentioned again by anyone. The franchise dies a noble death and goes quietly into oblivion.